Breaking through silence

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It has been quiet on our blog, we know. There is plenty that we have been up to as a family and we will be spending weeks catch you up on all that has been going on. Lots has been happening that is exciting and wonderful. We have had new adventures and have celebrated milestones.

Life has also moved forward into an a world of new opportunities and through all the challenges that we have faced this year, it is a delight to see so many new doors opening. Some doors are ones that have been past hopes and dreams that were put on hold. Others are exciting and new. We look forward to sharing them with you as they come to fruition.

So, why then has there been silence?

Sometimes after sharing something deeply personal, there is an amount of vulnerability attached to that act of sharing. Even when the matter has been emotionally processed, there is still the emotional risk of being hurt because that sense of vulnerability remains even when the topic is changed.

After sharing a very personal part of our journey this year we felt the need to breathe. To allow that sense of vulnerability to pass so that we could move forward in sharing the other aspects of our lives once more. The blog silence is the cost of choosing to be real and genuine with those in our community – in family, work and study, and in our community – including you, as part of our online community. It is a choice deliberately made to be genuine in who we are in both real life and in the virtual world.

We do not regret the choice to be genuine about our lives. We never would.

It was important for both Jeremy and I to step back and breathe so that we could continue to write it the same integrity and raw truth again from a position of strength and courage. From a ‘mummy blogger’ perspective, this need could not have been a decision that I was more glad that I had made than when I read about the fallout between Queen Constance and Notorious Mum.

Now, I am not going to be taking a side on this matter. Bboth offer their unique perspectives of parenting and life in the same way that Jeremy and I do as a couple. However, I just wanted to observe that when a blogger is writing about something that is close to their heart and, maybe, something that is closely tied to their self-identity that the level of vulnerability to criticism is high. The toll that criticism then takes is also high. In this case, both bloggers expressed experiencing signs of trauma. Both reporting symptoms such as inability to refocus, disturbed sleep, nightmares, anxiety, panic attacks and one even going so far as to express that they experienced a ‘near breakdown’.

Both of these women, are strong and courageous in their own right and their own ways and, alike Aristotle, faced the challenge of knowing that they had a voice that would have them noticed. The cost that both appear to have underestimated is the emotional toll of criticism. Neither Constance or Ms Notorious have blogged in any real capacity since this debacle and anything that has followed by these two authors is largely introspective.

And I get it.

I completely understand why this is the case, this year, we have risked being there too but resolved to let the rising river levels settle before trying to paddle upstream again. I hope, for both, that they find the time to breathe also so they could rekindle their online voice once more. That they be able to find their place to entertain us with their own unique personalities again. Just as we will too now that we have had that chance to breathe ourselves.


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