It’s been a while since Jeremy or I have written. Sometimes I wonder if maybe there’s something wrong because our blog isn’t filled with all the joyful moments, bragging off this amazingly wonderful newborn that has joined our family. And she is truly amazingly wonderful. She is beautiful and brings a smile to my face frequently. A couple of weeks ago she discovered the that high pitched squeal of delight. She mastered it whilst she was still practising her smile. You know, when they open their mouth really, really wide, thinking that they are smiling and trying oh so hard but really not getting there? Yep, that. She was doing that for weeks and melted my heart with her efforts.
For the record, she has now mastered that smile!
But beyond that, nope, there really is a lack of motivation on my part when it comes to telling you all the ‘stuff’ of newborns and motherhood that we see seeded through so many parent’s blogs. And, really, neither has Jeremy. For a little while it really had me wondering why. So, I have spent some time in quiet reflection about this in recent weeks. Okay, it could be the aimless thoughts that come from being overtired… ..but reflective nonetheless.
Not wanting to overshare
One of the hardest things for me in facing miscarriage was facing the positive news and confidence of others. It made me want to curl up in a ball at times and I risked hurting friendships because I had to withdraw to deal with my own feelings as a result of multiple miscarriages. In the same way, I am very sensitive to what we share on our social media as I know all too well that the stuff that makes most people go a little gaga makes other people hurt at the same time whether that be from miscarriage, stillbirth or the loss of a living child. I know because that has been me.
Facing fears of things going wrong
Jeremy has also needed the last few months to work through fears of mental health fall out. Both Jeremy and I have faced mental health fall out in our families before where certain life events will trigger loved ones health off. Once you have experienced it you get wary of the possibilities of history repeating itself. Jeremy has lovingly supported a loved one through post-natal mental health issues and, as a result, held understandable concern for me.
At the same time I have been aware, not just of myself but also of Jeremy’s wariness and have put in place all those things I need to be able to fully be at my best through the post-natal period. This has included planned social contact, time for myself, times where I can work in a way that feels productive, couple time as husband and wife, as well as special time for me and young Charlie Brown to hang out together in quality mother and daughter time. I have worked to put things in place to keep myself well to help Jeremy also overcome his fear of things going wrong.
Enjoying the moment for ourselves
There is also something special in also allowing moments to just be your special moments. There is something that is significant about being present and not feeling like you need to pull out a camera or to jump on social media to share every little thing that happens in the life of your newborn. It really is about being mindful and living in the present.
It is the bit the same in what we share of life with our other children. We don’t share every little moment or even every outing. We just share those moments that we feel that either you will relate to or that will inspire you with ideas for your own family. We are not sharing every time we crack out a board or card game otherwise that’s what you’d be seeing almost every other day. What we put online is balanced as only a small part of the life we actually lead.
Being flexible to change
The other thing that happens with having a baby is that family life experiences a lot of change. My work hours have been massively cut back to accommodate the care needs of Charlie Brown and Jeremy’s business has also changed to adapt to changing demands also. Simultaneously, financial demand on our family has also increased with two children also looking at moving schools next year, one heading into secondary schooling and another moving schools to better accommodate his subject interests for his South Australian Certificate of Education. For us that means we are needing to budget in for new uniforms and other sundry costs associated with such a move in addition to other family life changes.
We are just rolling with it
So, in conclusion, we are just really rolling with the nature of family life and this has seemingly put writing on a temporary back burner. Our passion for the Clarke Tribe community has not declined. It has just needed to be a lesser priority over this season. So we just hope that you are happy to just roll with it also. Because, well, that is how life is for all of us at one time or another.