The Handfasting

Share the love

Somewhere, way back in the introduction to who we were it was mentioned that we may get onto sharing the handfasting commitments made as part of our wedding ceremony.  We are pleased to say, “Here they are!”

Our Handfasting Commitments

Officiant: We come now to the time when Jeremy and Kristy will make their commitments to each other before you as witnesses. They have elected to fulfill their vows through a hand-fasting ceremony. Prior to this day they have woven a cord with tokens of their commitments as a part of the binding. This cord will be tied around their wrists as they speak their commitments and the resulting knot will form a representation of the permanency of their word. At the conclusion of their vows they will exchange rings to be a reminder of the commitments they have made to each other that they can carry with them, with the knot being displayed within their family home. Kristy and Jeremy I ask that you clasp your hands and listen to the description of each commitment before responding to each in turn.

Faith

Officiant: Faith is the beginning of this series of commitments for it is foundation on which you marriage is based. Faith represents not just your commitment to each other as part of this ceremony but how this commitment is representative of the covenant that God has made with us, where He loves and is faithful to us despite our brokenness. In living this out both of you commit to spending time developing your own individual relationships with Christ, to bring the strength of faith into your marriage together. To achieve this requires commitment from each of you to support the other in providing opportunity to grow in faith. This also represents your commitment to being a part of the community of believers and acting as ambassadors of Christ into the wider community.

Officiant: Kristy, will you commit to walk out your faith each day as well as encourage Jeremy in his walk with Jesus?

Kristy: I will.

Officiant: Jeremy, will you commit to walk out your faith each day as well as encourage Kristy in her walk with Jesus?

Jeremy: I will.

Unity

Officiant: Unity is value that will hold your relationship solid. It is the means by which the aspects of each of you and your families come together to work as one. It is a declaration of intent that in all your thoughts, words and actions you will take into consideration not just yourselves as individuals, but the other as well as your household. Unity will allow you the peace of mind, as well as the security of purpose to reach outwards and into the lives of those around you. It is the framework upon which you can build the rest of your commitments to each other underpinned by the foundation of your faith in our saviour Christ Jesus. In this commitment you state that from this day forward you and your spouse will be joined together as one.

Officiant: Kristy, will you work in one spirit and direction in consultation with Jeremy to establish the momentum of unity?

Kristy: I will.

Officiant: Jeremy, will you work in one spirit and direction in consultation with Kristy to establish the momentum of unity?

Jeremy: I will.

Truth

Officiant: Truth is the commitment to honesty through your words and actions in love, with it you can ensure that your relationship will multiply and bear fruit. It is the setting of a standard with each other that you will take into all your other relationships and interactions. By being able to live in loving frankness with each other you set an example of the freedom and security that reflects the truth of your own salvation anchored in the security of forgiveness. In this commitment you declare that will strive to walk in truth with each other abandoning lies, secrets or omissions from each other, though there will be surprises.

Officiant: Kristy, will you share the hard truths with Jeremy no matter the temporary pain they may bring as well as receive truth from Jeremy and accept it in love?

Kristy: I will.

Officiant: Jeremy, will you share the hard truths with Kristy no matter the temporary pain they may bring as well as receive truth from Jeremy and accept it in love?

Jeremy: I will.

Honour

Officiant: Honour is a commitment to your attitude toward one another. It is the act of celebrating the nature, gifts, talents and abilities of the other and holding who the other is with esteem. It is the acceptance of who each of you are without judgement, it is the desire to see each of you strive towards improvement without attempting to subvert that goal towards your own ends. When you honour each other you look beyond yourself and into the other, seeing their potential and innate value. In this commitment there is the declaration of your spouse as being precious to you in their own right, without the need to be anything other than whom they are.

Officiant: Kristy, will you honour Jeremy for who he is, to hold him in esteem and celebrate the unique characteristics he brings to your relationship as being precious in your sight as well as the sight of God?

Kristy: I will.

Officiant: Jeremy, will you honour Kristy for who she is, to hold him in esteem and celebrate the unique characteristics she brings to your relationship as being precious in your sight as well as the sight of God?

Jeremy: I will.

Empowerment

Officiant: Empowerment is the commitment you make to resource and equip each other in your partnership. Each of you will have individual dreams for your family and you must act together to amalgamate them into a united vision for your future. It will be necessary, at times, for you to lovingly rebuke each other to ensure that you continue to hold each other to God’s will for your marriage. The resources you give to each other will not be limited to time, energy and finances. In order to empower you must also include the words you speak over each other and be consistent in the actions you take in public with those you take in private.

Officiant: Kristy, will you hear Jeremy’s dreams for your family and partner with him to form a united vision that you can prayerfully strive towards?

Kristy: I will.

Officiant: Jeremy, will you hear Kristy’s dreams for your family and partner with her to form a united vision that you can prayerfully strive towards?

Jeremy: I will.

Romance

Officiant: Romance is a commitment to include in the business of your lives to engage in times of loving retreat together. It is investing the time to sit with each other, speak with each other and engage with each other as lovers. It is the acknowledgement that not everything must be serious, there is always time to be silly, to play, to dance, and to laugh. Each of you understands and shows love in different ways, in this commitment you declare that learning and celebrating these will be an act that you pursue throughout your lives. In this commitment you promise to pursue no other, to always have your spouse as your source of earthly affection and comfort.

Officiant: Kristy, will you choose Jeremy as your lover, forsaking all others and to provide those gestures that remind him of your romantic love for him?

Kristy: I will.

Officiant: Jeremy, will you choose Kristy as your lover, forsaking all others and to provide those gestures that remind her of your romantic love for her?

Cultivation

Officiant: Cultivation is supporting each other in a commitment to growth individually and as a couple. In the same way that one would cultivate a garden, this is a commitment to yourselves and each other in actively engaging in acts that allow you both to grow and flourish. It includes the acts of uprooting weeds, sewing seeds, nourishing each other, protecting that which is delicate, training new growth in the way it should go and pruning back regularly to maintain health. Cultivation is based on a love for life in all its fullness and takes personal responsibility to tend and nurture your relationship to keep it healthy. As you tend to your relationship it will be a place of beauty and peace, in your marriage you will find serenity and strength. A marriage will be tested by the storms of life and also requires commitment to see them through together and to use times of testing to revisit what you have planted and give it fresh life.

Officiant: Kristy, will you seek to grow yourself and your relationship in partnership with Jeremy, actively seeking correction and guidance in your choices and seeking to nourish Jeremy with words of encouragement and truth?

Kristy: I will.

Officiant: Jeremy, will you seek to grow yourself and your relationship in partnership with Kristy, actively seeking correction and guidance in your choices and seeking to nourish Kristy with words of encouragement and truth?

Jeremy: I will.

Balance

Officiant: Balance is a commitment to seek to be at the centre of God’s will for your lives not just with long term goals but also in how your life plays out from week to week, day to day and moment by moment. It is a declaration that though the tasks of life seek to divide you between competing pulls that every demand shall be measured against the values of God and the values you are committing to today. It is an acceptance that there will be many seasons in your lives and that, in each, you are each responsible to yourselves and each other to ensure that no one area dominates the rest. Through this commitment you accept that the needs of the individual, the needs of the couple and the needs of your household will need to be kept in balance without allowing any one to overshadow the others. In it you acknowledge that there will be times that this is not the case, but that those will be transient and you commit to always drawing your life together back to centeredness with God.

Officiant: Kristy, will you strive to support Jeremy in maintaining the balance between the competing needs of all aspects of life and self?

Kristy: I will.

Officiant: Jeremy, will you strive to support Kristy in maintaining the balance between the competing needs of all aspects of life and self?

Jeremy: I will.

Officiant: And so the binding is made.


Share the love